Courage? Doubtful....

Now that Elul is upon us, the annual pilgramige has begun. Jewish boys and girls from all over America, pack their belongings and spend a year in Israel to learn and study Torah.

I suppose when this idea first started-my guess is the late 60's early 70's, the idea was to open Yeshivas and seminaries in Israel in hopes that students would come to learn there and eventually immigrate to Israel. I think we can now call that experiment by and large a failure. Not so much a failure from the MO perspective, but without a doubt from the yeshivish perspective.

Here's why I make this statement. Let's take the graduating class of the Bais Yaakov of Baltimore. There were 120 graduating seniors of which 113 are going to Israel this week to study for a year. Out of the 113 that are going to Israel, I would bet that more than 100 will eventually settle and live in America which means that less than 10% will live in Israel. This truly begs the question-why are girls going to Israel to study for a year, at a cost of more than $15,000 per year? Once you include travel and expenses you will likely spend closer to 20k for the year.

Can someone explain to me what this is about other than lining the pockets of some Jews in Israel? Is the Torah learned in America not as good? If the answer is yes than why are you not making Aliyah so your Torah and your children's Torah will always be holier each and every day than your brothers' and sisters' Torah anywhere else around the globe? If the answer is no, than why are you spending 20k for your daughter to go to Israel for a year?

Most cases it's folow the money. In the Frum world, it's follow the shidduch. Why do our children go to certain schools-shidduch. Why do some families not make public that they have a child who is handicapped? Shidduch. Why do some families hide that their child might have been the victim of child and or sexual abuse at the hands of a rabbi? Shidduch. A member of the family is not religious? Don't tell-shidduch.

This is where we are and this twisted logic is why parents will MORTGAGE their house to send their child to Israel....I ask you...does this make any sense?

Now that being the case, do I think there is a time and a place for students in Israel? Without a doubt. I believe that if a child has the urge to study Torah away from the ditractions of America, than by all means, I think you need to look at working something out so they can learn there. If there wasn't such an empty hole of Yeshivas in America ie. Everyone is basically the same assembly line Judaism-if it sounds frummer it must be so...

Israel at least offers you different options. You can learn in a far right wing yeshiva or a yeshiva that is tailored to your needs. But if the only reason you send your child to Isael is to make sure it looks good on the shidduch resume'-what are you doing?

I would say this. I would much rather my sons marry a girl who didn't go to Israel because it was the prudent thing to do or because she wanted to remove the burden from her parents, than a girl who went to Israel because that's what the rest or the 112 girls in her class did.

Lastly, where are the Rabbis on this? Why have they not spoken out against the abuses perpetrated by parents in ourder to fill out a shidduch resume'.? Why would they speak about limiting how much someone can pay for as wedding, but not how much they can pay to send their children to Israel?

My guess would be the same reason they have fallen short in every other category in our lives today.

That would take courage.

Kinda Sad....

I guess I really was tired....been almost a month since I posted anything.

I read a post somewhere recently from a girl who was in seminary at some point and that she was at a non-jewish party and was much happier there than she was at her "parties" from high school where the girls would kumzits etc. She said that the non jewish world made her feel more accepted and were much more accepting of her differences. Wow, what a sad commentary.

I immediately thought of the "kiss" eisav gave to Yaakov on his neck and how that was actually a bite-come and join us, it's much nicer on this side of life.

Then I actually asked the more important question-why is it that we are so unaccepting?

Here's a question for you. Do any of you have friends who are homosexual? (I have a few by the way and while they know I don't approve of the lifestyle and we've talked about it extensively, they are Jews and I am commanded by Hashem to love them just the same as any other brother). I recall our Rabbi writing a few months ago about homosexuals who work hard to live a Torah lifestyle and that means not having any sex etc. just so they can walk in the Derech Hashem. (don't think he could have spoke about it from the pulpit) Well, I didn't get the article until well after Shul and I bumped into a man who sits a few rows in front of me. I asked him what this was about and he said something to the effect of "he was only on the first page but it was about the gays-we just need to kill all of them-just wipe 'em out-keep 'em away from our kids" Well of course the Rabbis take was a bit different. I was thinking walking home, what happens if you replace his word gays with jews?

I think we have found it in our hearts to accept the man who cheats on his wife, steals from his friends, who lies in business...and I am sure I can find plenty of abominations that we tolerate. But why is it that we are so unaccepting and or judgemental. Misnagdim vs chassidim? Reform and cons. vs orthodox? Men vs woman?

I think the answer in why we are like this is in our yeshivas. Anyone and I mean anyone, who has been to a yeshiva knows all about the racism and judgements of our rabbeim and the culture within the yeshiva itself. To deny that it exists is dishonest at it's very core. I remember writing to someone when I was a teenager-from yeshiva of course-and I wrote something a bit racist and she wrote back that she would have thought that we, the Jews, would be a bit more understanding of others who are less fortunate and or oppressed. Oooppss..Seems that's not the way it is.

I think it's even more than that. Maybe it has something to do with out "rightness". We have the Torah and maybe we think that makes us the arbitor of right and wrong even while our personal moral compass is clouded by our own arrogance. What makes the whole thing ironic to me, is that the very source we use to show us right from wrong and to be used as our moral conscience, is the same "source" that we use to pass judgement on our felow man, which of course leads to unacceptance of all those we decipher as right or wrong. Something to think about.

I have quite a few more reasons why we have failed to embrace our fellow man, but I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts.

Have a great Shabbos and please say Good Shabbos to everyone you see-male or female.