Now that Elul is upon us, the annual pilgramige has begun. Jewish boys and girls from all over America, pack their belongings and spend a year in Israel to learn and study Torah.
I suppose when this idea first started-my guess is the late 60's early 70's, the idea was to open Yeshivas and seminaries in Israel in hopes that students would come to learn there and eventually immigrate to Israel. I think we can now call that experiment by and large a failure. Not so much a failure from the MO perspective, but without a doubt from the yeshivish perspective.
Here's why I make this statement. Let's take the graduating class of the Bais Yaakov of Baltimore. There were 120 graduating seniors of which 113 are going to Israel this week to study for a year. Out of the 113 that are going to Israel, I would bet that more than 100 will eventually settle and live in America which means that less than 10% will live in Israel. This truly begs the question-why are girls going to Israel to study for a year, at a cost of more than $15,000 per year? Once you include travel and expenses you will likely spend closer to 20k for the year.
Can someone explain to me what this is about other than lining the pockets of some Jews in Israel? Is the Torah learned in America not as good? If the answer is yes than why are you not making Aliyah so your Torah and your children's Torah will always be holier each and every day than your brothers' and sisters' Torah anywhere else around the globe? If the answer is no, than why are you spending 20k for your daughter to go to Israel for a year?
Most cases it's folow the money. In the Frum world, it's follow the shidduch. Why do our children go to certain schools-shidduch. Why do some families not make public that they have a child who is handicapped? Shidduch. Why do some families hide that their child might have been the victim of child and or sexual abuse at the hands of a rabbi? Shidduch. A member of the family is not religious? Don't tell-shidduch.
This is where we are and this twisted logic is why parents will MORTGAGE their house to send their child to Israel....I ask you...does this make any sense?
Now that being the case, do I think there is a time and a place for students in Israel? Without a doubt. I believe that if a child has the urge to study Torah away from the ditractions of America, than by all means, I think you need to look at working something out so they can learn there. If there wasn't such an empty hole of Yeshivas in America ie. Everyone is basically the same assembly line Judaism-if it sounds frummer it must be so...
Israel at least offers you different options. You can learn in a far right wing yeshiva or a yeshiva that is tailored to your needs. But if the only reason you send your child to Isael is to make sure it looks good on the shidduch resume'-what are you doing?
I would say this. I would much rather my sons marry a girl who didn't go to Israel because it was the prudent thing to do or because she wanted to remove the burden from her parents, than a girl who went to Israel because that's what the rest or the 112 girls in her class did.
Lastly, where are the Rabbis on this? Why have they not spoken out against the abuses perpetrated by parents in ourder to fill out a shidduch resume'.? Why would they speak about limiting how much someone can pay for as wedding, but not how much they can pay to send their children to Israel?
My guess would be the same reason they have fallen short in every other category in our lives today.
That would take courage.
5 comments:
After she spent a year in israel, my older sister wanted to make aliyah. The only reason she came back to American was so she could get a degree - once she graduates from college, she's off to live in Israel.
While I concede my sister is in the minority, the majority of the rest of the girls (and boys, for that matter) get to live the Israeli lifestyle for a year. While they still like the comforts of home (i.e. America) they still feel more of a 'oneness' in Israel, and generally are more intrested in the affairs of Israel from then on.
Furthermore, I noticed that your post degenerated from talking about financial stress to critisizing shidduchim, or more accurately, how they are 'obtained', for lack of a better word. While in some cases your view is true, in most cases it is not. Furthermore, I highly doubt the first thing on a Jewish parent's mind, when they are pondering sending their child to Yeshivah or seminary, is whether they will be able to get a shidduch or not.
I don't know who you are because you wouldn't leave your name, but I'd bet a lot of money you have never dealt with the shidduch scene...
Unfortunately you have a lot to learn....
I'M BAAAAACCCCKKKK!
Ahem, anyway. The year in Israel is often not meant to be the first step in aliyah. Most of the children who go over are doing so for one year. The purpose of that year should be (a) to give the person a chance to learn Torah in a new environment with new friends (b) a chance to see our Land instead of just reading about it and seeing pictures in books (c) a chance to see Judaism practiced in its original language so that the American kids learn that Hebrew is still a functional, viable and colourful language.
Unfortunately, (b) and (c) are often not pushed across. Yes, the kids take tours but they don't see most of the country because most of Israel doesn't fit the "We're all frum" image the yeshivah wants them to see. Yes, they learn some Hebrew but for the most part they spend their time learning in English, speaking in English and living in English. I met a guy once who'd been studying in Bnei Beraq for 15 years and admitted he couldn't ask for something at the supermarker if he wanted to!
The year in Israel is absolutely essential as long as it's done the right way. The Torah in America is good but the Torah in Israel, Ivrit b'Ivrit is better.
I know it's been awhile, but ummm yes I am dealing with shidduch everyday. What an embarrassment for the Jewish people....and btw you can be sure that where you go to school has a definite effect on Shidduch...to not believe so makes you naive and intellectually dishonest
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