A Lesson for all Mankind

A lesson for all mankind....."Mi K'Amcha Yisrael?" "Who is like Your people Israel?"

A life lesson from Howard Schultz CEO and Founder of Starbucks

"When I was in Israel, I went to Mea Shearim, the ultra-Orthodox area within Jerusalem. Along with a group of businessmen I was with, I had the opportunity to have an audience with Rabbi Finkel, the head of a yeshiva there. I had never heard of him and didn't know anything about him. We went into his study and waited ten to 15 minutes for him. Finally, the doors opened.
What we did not know was that Rabbi Finkel was severely afflicted with Parkinson's disease. He sat down at the head of the table, and, naturally, our inclination was to look away. We didn't want to embarrass him.

We were all looking away, and we heard this big bang on the table: "Gentlemen, look at me, and look at me right now." Now his speech affliction was worse than his physical shaking. It was really hard to listen to him and watch him. He said, "I have only a few minutes for you because I know you're all busy American businessmen." You know, just a little dig there.
Then he asked, "Who can tell me what the lesson of the Holocaust is?" He called on one guy, who didn't know what to do-it was like being called on in the fifth grade without the answer. And the guy says something benign like, "We will never, ever forget?" And the rabbi completely dismisses him. I felt terrible for the guy until I realized the rabbi was getting ready to call on someone else. All of us were sort of under the table, looking away-you know, please, not me. He did not call me. I was sweating. He called on another guy, who had such a fantastic answer: "We will never, ever again be a victim or bystander."

The rabbi said, "You guys just don't get it. Okay, gentlemen, let me tell you the essence of the human spirit.
"As you know, during the Holocaust, the people were transported in the worst possible, inhumane way by railcar. They thought they were going to a work camp. We all know they were going to a death camp.
"After hours and hours in this inhumane corral with no light, no bathroom, cold, they arrived at the camps. The doors were swung wide open, and they were blinded by the light. Men were separated from women, mothers from daughters, fathers from sons. They went off to the bunkers to sleep.
"As they went into the area to sleep, only one person was given a blanket for every six. The person who received the blanket, when he went to bed, had to decide, 'Am I going to push the blanket to the five other people who did not get one, or am I going to pull it toward myself to stay warm?'"

And Rabbi Finkel says, "It was during this defining moment that we learned the power of the human spirit, because we pushed the blanket to five others."

And with that, he stood up and said, "Take your blanket. Take it back to America and push it to five other people."

I read this story from Howard Schultz and was amazed not so much at his retelling of it, but at the strength of character of the Jews who pushed the blanket over. Would I? Would you?

A Moment to Recognize His Awe

I am stepping off my soapbox just for today to get lost in the wonders of The Creator Of the Universe and all His Glory.

I am in awe of His mercy, His love, His patience, His judgment, His justice, His hand, His blessings, His promise, His might, His kindness, His power, His greatness....As I write, I realize that I must ask for His forgiveness for posting this, for I am so far from the one who should be doing so....yet I must give Him praise for allowing me to live the life he has granted me even though I have fallen so drastically short of his high hopes for me....I still bow to His Awesomeness and offer this short, inadequate but heartfelt testament to the greatness of His work.

The Reason?

Today, at this very moment, my son is preparing to spend Shabbat in Krakow, Poland.

He is a Jew.

He is in Poland.

In the year 2008.

Davening with a minyan and spending his time in solitude with his Creator. In Krakow.

How Awesome is the goodness of the Maker of All Things?

In the context of history, I am not sure who was worse to the Jews, the Poles or the Germans. If you don't have a great grasp of Europe, the question might seem ridiculous. But if you understand the wickedness of the Poles and their government, the question, while it might be a bit shocking, has some merit. While Germany was owning up to their evil following the war, the poles kept killing Jews and subjecting them to vermin status long after the war was over. There were and are still a large majority of anti-semites populating the land which to this day, remains a stain on mankind.

However, this Shabbat, young Jewish men return to send a message to this lowlife people from a lowlife country, that the Will and Might of Hashem is far too much for their wicked ways, yet in His mercy, he sends His people, the very people the poles wanted to eradicate, to sanctify this vile, disgusting, grotesque country with the beauty and holiness of Shabbat. Mi' Chamocha Ba-aylim Hashem?

Who can explain the impossible odds that the Jewish people have overcome?

How can it be that some sixty plus years later, the Jews have rebuilt themselves from the ashes and thrived, when in the lifetimes of our parents and grandparents, the question of Jewish survival or more to the point Jewish extinction was not just a Talmudic question, but a CBS news one?

It can be because the One Who Is, does not forget His promise or his people.

We have done everything we can to lose His faith in us. We have left His ways, have turned our backs on His Torah, have destroyed the very essence of His word from within and have allowed those who should be ashamed of themselves to dictate what is right and what is wrong.....AND STILL He allows us to continue and flourish.

It is with that as a backdrop that I offer my thanks to Hashem. He has given me far more than I will ever deserve and unfortunately I have only repaid him with inadequacy.

Ma' Ashiv La'Hashem-How can I repay You for all the blessings You have given me? I cannot even begin to describe the incredible blessings Hashem has granted me and to be able to witness my children grow up to become shining examples of what a Jew is supposed to be, I am so very humbled that He has granted me the time and opportunity to watch my children grow in Torah and Ma'asim Tovim and in service to Him.

I cannot wait to speak IYH with my son and hear about his trip back into Jewish history. As this new cycle of the Torah starts today, I hope everyone takes a few moments to give thanks to Hashem for all that he has done for you. Hold your child just a moment longer, tell your spouse you love them and live life with a smile. Ivdu Es Hashem B'simcha!


Most of all join, me in singing praises to The Creator of the Universe......Chasdai Hashem l'olam Ashirah!!

Shabbat Shalom.

My Heart Cries.....

I cannot believe it has been almost a year since my last post.

Unfortunately, nothing has changed.

This past weekend our people lost a holy Jewish soul who just wanted to be told he was a good Jew. His story resonated with me. He was a child looking to fit in. He didn't wear white shirts or learn all day. He struggled finding anyone who would talk with him and tell him that being different than the other kids was okay and he was as important to the people of Israel as anyone else.

He passed away yesterday from injuries sustained in a car accident in Baltimore early Friday morning.

My children knew him.

I knew him.

I could have been him.

I am a graduate of life on the street. I was one of "those kids". I wanted nothing to do with Judaism when I was 18. I was in a very bad way. I know all too well where this child was coming from.

Quite a few years ago, there was a job opening for someone to run a program to help "children at risk" I applied. I didn't get the job. Why? I found out later when the person was hired. I didn't have the look they wanted. I didn't wear a white shirt or black pants, wasn't currently in the Yeshiva of the month-or have an MSW-all I had going for me was I knew who these kids were-I was working with them on my own and was one of them in my youth. But the powers that be thought I wasn't right for the job.

It was a colossal failure. They hired someone (two people actually-yeshiva guy and yeshiva girl) who had no clue what they were dealing with. They had the exact look that these children were running away from. Who thinks this way? Separate times for boys and girls? Exactly what they were running away from. Did anyone think that was actually going to work?

The experiment didn't last a year.

Now is the time. We need leadership.

We have told our children all the No's we can think of. No movies, no TV, no DVD, no internet, no girls, no competitive sports....What are they supposed to do? What do you expect them to do? Where do you think they're are going to turn?
We are dealing with real lives, real Neshomos. Children who are crying to be heard. What have we NOT taken away from them? How many more kids will the streets have to grab away from us before we open our eyes?

We have NUT-JOBS walking around trying to cancel concerts from Lipa Schmeltzer? Some guy pulls out a bunch of papers proclaiming that the Rabbis have given him permission to be a tattle tale/snitch/self proclaimed macher and we are supposed to take him seriously? All the problems we are facing and the best he can do is protest Lipa Schmeltzer?

Agudas Yisroel makes a proclamation that we all need to vote. With everything we are dealing with that needs leadership and direction we get "go Vote"? Are you serious?

What is wrong with us? Our people are in trouble.

ARE THERE ANY LEADERS LEFT IN KLAL YISROEL?

We are worried about singers? Voting?

We are to blame because we buy into this craziness.

NO MORE!

We are at war. They come at you with a gun you better be prepared to come back at them with a cannon. All bets are off now. If that means we have to let boys and girls spend time together supervised somewhere, we have to do it. It has been my experience-both being a child like this-raising children and working with these type of children for more than two decades that Torah cannot compete with teenagers when it comes to girls and sports. We have to find a way to work with this paradigm in so much as we need to take our ideologies and move them aside-we are in a war for our kids lives. The tired old ways will not do it. Personalities will get this done. The last thing a kid on the street wants to hear is that the Torah is the ultimate guide to happiness-he has heard that and rejected that.

What are we prepared to do?

I am not advocating anything not halachic-chas vshalom. We need to change the game and we need to do it now. We need to preach from the rooftops (and kal v'chomer the pulpit) that its okay to wear a blue shirt or not go to bais medresh. We need to let children who can't wear a jacket or hat, not wear one and find a way to tell them they are still loved and MORE IMPORTANTLY an important part of the Klall. Our community is crying for leadership. Someone to say what we are doing now IS NOT WORKING.

We spend so much time patting ourselves on the back about how great we are, we have no time to take a critical look at what we MUST do to save EACH AND EVERY CHILD-not just the ones who are stars in cheder.

My soul aches for my people. I have not been able to sleep because I know what we have to do and I am not sure we have anyone in Klal Yisroel who is willing to do it. We need to stop pretending and start doing-we need substance-we need to realize that we can make a difference, but WE HAVE TO CHANGE.

I liked this boy. I like his entire family. They are great people and I cannot even fathom the grief they must be going through.

I hope they find some solace in the fact that their precious child is with his Maker now and under his protection where nothing more can happen to him. I know it is little consolation, but what else can I offer those whose lives have been shattered by a tragedy like this.

I was not surprised to hear that the funeral home was full, but I was saddened at how many in attendance would have actually forbid their children to even speak with this child let alone hang with him.

The duplicity is priceless and the irony sickens me.

The ball is in our court.

What are we prepared to do?

What is this Torah that you Speak of?

It never fails.

You can start a clock by it.

Question the present day Yeshivish/Kollel lifestyle and you will get blasted-personally attacked. Be called an idiot and a know nothing-anti-Torah.

This is the way it works with the Jews of the 21st century.

Suffice it to say there are two camps. One camp believes that the current yeshiva structure of today is the way to go. This camp believes in the study of Torah, living a Torah lifestyle, with Torah, Avodah, and Gemilos Chasadim. However, they also are subjecting our naive, idealistic, children to a life of struggle and poverty and listening intently for the next restrictive edict from a Rabbinical leadership starving to hang on to it's power. Not so much because they believe it's the way to go, but because that's just the way it is done.

The second camp believes in Torah, Avodah, and Gemilos Chasadim. They believe in a Torah lifestyle. They do not believe in the canard of modern orthodoxy as it's defined by the far left wing on that spectrum, just as they reject the leanings of the far right wing in the yeshiva structure. They just long to be Torah Jews who service Hashem out of love and call out the evil of all who have other agendas.

I myself am lost. I like to think I am in the second camp, but unfortunately, there are not many people there with me. I used to believe in the infallibility of Rabbinical leadership. Those days are gone now. I have witnessed too much. I get a chuckle out of seeing advertisements for a camp where, under the picture of each Rabbi involved, is a caption like Adom Godol or Talmud Chacham. I turn the page and see pictures of more Rabbis who USED TO BE WITH THE others from the previous page, but are now on their own in a new camp, due to a fight between the groups. I used to think that someone earned the name Gadol Ba'Torah-I didn't think you got invited to become one.

Interestingly enough, talk to any Rabbi nowadays, and he'll tell you that we are definitely at the end of days, all the while wanting us to ignore that at the end of days, the Talmud says, the rabbis will be like a pig with a golden ring in it's snout, as if to say check out my Torah and how much I know. The rest of you know nothing.

I believe the study of Torah is a beautiful and spiritual pursuit. I also believe like Abaye, Ravina, Rava, Rambam, Rav Ashi And Rav Shmuel before me that MY NUMBER ONE JOB AS A TORAH TRUE JEW, IS TO FEED MY FAMILY. For support on this issue, I find solace in the Gemmorah Kesubos around 40 blatt in as well as hilchos Talmud Torah from the Rambam, 3rd perek, where he states that a person should find a job, find a house, find a wife. WHAT? The Rambam said that? Doesn't he understand how hard it is in this society? Like living in Egypt was a day at the beach. Today we do the exact opposite. Find a wife, find a house find a job. I'm amused by Kollel and Bais Medrash students who constantly quote the Rambam, but seem to ignore his prescription for life.

I'm told now that a young man needs to learn longer in this brutal society to get a foundation for life. I do not disagree. Here is my answer to fix all of it. Learn to your hearts content if that is how your parents have raised you, but do not involve our daughters and grandchildren in your selfishness. Let me be very clear. It is extremely selfish to demand of one's parents and in-laws that you be supported. It is extremely selfish to demand of your wife, that she supports you for x number of years and after that you'll see where you are at. Yes, the study of Torah is very important. IF YOU BELIEVE IN IT SO MUCH, DO SOMETHING SELFLESS AND WAIT TO GET MARRIED UNTIL YOU ARE READY TO SUPPORT A WIFE AS THE TORAH AND TALMUD SAYS.

It used to be in years past when a boy was in yeshiva his rebbe would quote him that a person who is kovayah iitim l'Torah is like a person who learned all day. The Rebbe assumed that the boy would follow in the footsteps of his Jewish ancestors. Today they are told that a person can't really be Koveah iitim because he would have to do it the same time each day blah blah blah...What are we doing?? When will this stupidity end??

I wish I could learn Torah all day. There is nothing better for a man to do. I cannot. The Torah commands me to feed my children and take care of my wife and that is what I must do. In the meantime, I will continue to learn at least a daf a day in Bavli and dabble in Yerushalmi, as I have for the last 10 years and find my peace in that. While I understand that the Yeshiva world looks down upon Daf Yomi, I will live with their ridicule and their arrogance. In the meantime, I will do my best to make sure we straighten out the lives of the starry eyed youth who have bought into this broken and dangerous system and hope and pray that I don't get a knock on my door in 22 years from now because my relatives don't have enough money to pay for the first of the ten childrens' wedding. Habait M'shmayim oraeeyh....

Devorah? Not in my Lifetime....

I apologize for not posting a new blog sooner but with the holiday and some family issues, I was a bit overwhelmed...nevertheless I am back and had a few questions....

Before I start a few mazel tov's. My cousin has a daughter getting married in two weeks and she is moving to....you guessed it, Lakewood where her husband will be....you guessed it, learning in Kollel. But wait-there's more. Her brother just got engaged two days ago...he'll be moving to...drum roll please...Lakewood where he will be....learning in Kollel...anyone see a pattern? Ahh but in case you have not had enough, my brother's nephew from his wife's side also just got engaged...his is moving to....do I need to say??

What are we doing to our children??? Does this make any sense to you?? Someone please explain this utter stupidity to me and additionally, tell me how this lunacy is good for the Jewish people and how it is actually the way of the Torah??


A thought about learning all night on Shavuos....

Where did we get this and by we I mean the religious Jewish community? What source can we look to for this minhag? Rashi? Nope. Rambam? Nope. Abarbanel? Nope. Ramban? Nope. Now it seems to me that none of the above partook in this nobel excersize, or at the very least they didn't advocate it for the masses. Now please feel free to correct me on these aforementioned bastions of yeshivish thought, but I can't find one place in their writings where they even hint to staying up all night to learn on Shavuos. How did we get here?

It seems that the Mogen Avraham is really one of the first to mention this idea of staying up all night referring to a recent happening as if to say that around his time in the early 1600 or late 1500's, people started to stay up all night. I find it interesting to note that coffee was introduced to that region around the same time frame. Could it be without the introduction of caffeine back then, we would not have this minhag today? I seem to think so. Now for the Yeshiva guy this is an uncomfortable thought-do you mean to tell me that no one stayed up on Shavuos before then? Uhhhh...for the most part yes. Except of course if you read the Zohar who has a whole miggilah on how a few Kabbalists stayed up to prepare the bride-Klal Yisroel-for the groom-Hashem and Torah-and it explains there the very obscure and esoteric meanings behind this idea.

The yeshiva guy will point to the Chofetz Chaim who states the medrash and we stay up all night because we needed to be woken up...blah blah blah...I believe even the CC knew this was way off, but he did not want to mention Kabbalah b/c he knew how the misnagdim hated the chasidim so....and that tradition has been handed down to the yeshiva world who has an almost disdain for Kabbalists as if only the yeshiva world has true insight to Torah....I wonder if the yeshiva world knows how much Kabbalah they have in their lives...ana b'koach, lechu nerannina, Lecho dodi just to name a few....

The other question I wonder is do you think there is any chance that had she lived in today's world, Devorah would have been allowed to rise into a leader of Klal Yisroel? I say no shot..Can you imagine the self proclaimed moetzes gedolei ha'Torah differing to a woman? I am confident that the Rosh Ha'Yeshiva's would ban her speeches and attack her as a rodef and rebel rouser who was not a good example for our daughters and b'nos Torah...

Anyone doubt that?

What a shame that Torah Judaism has been squeezed into a very small narrow box and anyone who dares to question it's non halachic laws is attacked and abused in the name of Torah. What a shame...

Well, as long as they look frum....

A little background on this story....

A boy about 12 years old is struggling at his yeshiva because the English is overwhelmed with nothingness and there is no respect for adults and teachers. His parents are professionals. Father is very learned and a well respected national attorney-A very righteous man doing huge amounts of work on behalf of Israel and the Jewish people.

Parents end up sending the boy to a co-ed day school where he does very well, but as he enters 9th grade, they would prefer he go back to the yeshiva where his two older brothers are. A few days before his summer interview at the yeshiva, something happens. The mother of a former classmate at the yeshiva-let's call her Yenta-sees the boy talking to a girl who happens to be in his class at the day school. Yenta the mother, knowing of the boys upcoming interview, grabs her cell phone and places an urgent call to the principal and because her husband is a board member at the yeshiva, she feels she can call the principal at any time. So on his summer vacation, she calls the principal and demands he turn the boy away from the yeshiva, because even though her son and the boy are the best of friends, she does not want his influence of talking to girls around her son. Her son is a true ben Torah and he does not need this kind of bad apple in the yeshiva. The one thing the mother has forgotten to mention to the principal is that she is making the phone call to him FROM A LOCAL (not jewish) PUBLIC POOL WHERE MEN AND WOMAN ARE SWIMMING TOGETHER. She, of course, SELF-APPOINTED ARBITER OF FRUMKEIT THAT SHE IS, can be there because she has covered herself up more than those "others" at the pool who clearly do not understand teh lessons of right and wrong that she administers.

Understand this. This self righteous mitzvah doer is relaxing her day away at a public swimming pool when she notices on the sidewalk some few hundred feet away, this boy, who, passing by a girl he is in class with, stops to say hi and she takes it upon herself to make sure the boy is not in her sons class at the yeshiva because her son does not need this awful influence in his life-being the true ben Torah that he is.

Fast forward two years. The boy is thriving in the day school after the parents resented the yeshiva's treatment of their son based on him being spotted talking to this girl by Yenta and her subsequent reporting of it to the Principal. He is a leader and a mentsch on his way to being a masmid. This past Wednesday, Yenta's son is caught by his principal at the local JCC leaving the building with his brand new girlfriend. The irony is so rich you have to wipe it away from your face with both hands. Of course there were no repercussions for Yenta's son because the father and Yenta are now both board members and the president of the school is their best friend...

So where does this leave us?

I don't really know when it started, but sometime in the past twenty five years, the religious Jewish people made style over substance the most important criteria in life. Funny thing is, it was this very thing that Rabbeim railed against when they gave their Thursday night schmoozes, decrying the non religious for the manicured lawns and their fancy cars, wondering why they turned their backs on Torah. How could they choose style over substance? They need to learn Torah to understand the shortcomings of their life decisions. Now, we have embraced their philosophy even though our people study Torah every day. Funny how that happens....

A few times each week now, I have men knocking at my door collecting for their yeshivas. My one question to each of them is, would I, in my three button polo shirt and kakis, be allowed to study Torah in their yeshiva if I was 18 years old? Invariably, they hedge the answer until, when pressed, they say no, I would have to conform to the standard white and black fare. When asked why, they cannot give me anything better than this is how a ben Torah dresses. Really? The Chofetz Chaim dressed like that? How many of these great Torah scholars know that we stole this get-up from the polish and russian nobleman. Chas V'Shalom is their response when enlightened.

It no longer matters what you are, it matters what your look like you are. And therein lies the rub...

I have so much more on this, but I will stop here for now because I have made my own stomach turn and another shamas is at my door....and just In case you're wondering, I do give all the men Tzedakah, but I always wonder why....